So I woke up this morning and realized that I had been dreaming in blog. WTF? No, really. My dreams had not been in video form, as per usual, but rather all in typeface with witty headings. It was weird. And maybe a little creepy. But what really pissed me off was that when The Boy decided it was morning (5:32am, thankyouverymuch) all of the great blopics just went up like so much smoke….
Oh, to smoke. Light, inhale, savor, exhale, cough a little if you breathe too deep or you’re smoking the fun stuff. I miss smoking. Really a lot. Oh good Christ I miss cigarettes! It’s been all of 10 days now, and while I’m glad to be done with the whole nasty, smelly, dirty habit, if I was not such a stellar mother (I can hear you all stifling those giggles out there, just let it out) I would be leaving my sleeping babies to dash to the corner store for a nice little package of cancer-to-go. Put down your phones, no need to call DFS or any other such child caving agency, I’m blogging instead of smoking. And it’s cold out there! Plus, I’m already in my jammies and I’m too lazy to put real clothes on now.
So 5:32am. Yup. The funny part was that he didn’t come in to wake me up like usual, he just turned on the light in his bedroom and woke up his sister. Instead of trying to whack the mole myself, The Girl said, and I quote, “Turn it off! I’m trying to sleep here! Go turn on mommy’s light!” To which The Boy answered, “But she won’t play with me yet!” The Girl’s response? “Neither will I! Now TURN IT OFF!!” At which time I heard what sounded like something or someone hit the floor/wall. I still don’t know exactly what the noise was, but there was no blood, so no real harm, right? And as everyone was up at that point, I’ve been dragging my pajamma’d ass through the day wishing that someone would make me a cup of coffee and that I had hidden at least one emergency pack of cancer somewhere in the house. Damn me and my non-self-sabotaging ways. And if I’m really a quitter now, re smoking, does that mean I’ll never win again? Or that I’m just not a winner in general?