forget accidentally, it was totally on purpose

… I haven’t been neglecting my blog, I just refuse to post halfassery. And I can hear you rolling your eyes over there, yes you, in the corner, so just knock it off. The head shaking to . You look ridiculous.

Maybe it’s the fact that I now know that there are certain… uh… elements reading my blog that has caused my obvious lack of, well, blogginess. I could totally go with that except that I have this drafts folder that is chock full of bloggy goodness, now completely fucking obsolete as it was oh-so-timely in it’s inception and bloggy beginnings but completely totally pointless as this, well, point. And it’s not that the everyday stupidity of people has stopped irritating me to the point that I need to rail at the general populous via this, my all-purpose bitch-box, soap-box, kleenex-box, giggle-box, what have you, far from it. Mayhaps I’ve become so entirely overwhelmed with the present contents of my life that everything but the pinpointed task at hand has been relegated to a background blur. I so feel the picture of my avatar these days. Let’s call her Mavis. Mavis is tired. Mavis needs a nap. Mavis needs a drink. Mavis needs a vacation somewhere away from her daily life and to come home to a clean house with no laundry waiting. To dream the impossible dream…

Halfassery, general stupidity, and parents who raise their children and forget to instill a moral compass are at the top of my list of things that make me want to turn off the filter that sits between the complete asshole part of my brain that thinks things like “Seriously? You can’t read the fucking sign that says ‘Slow traffic to the right’ you dumb fucking cunt? Put down your cell phone and your cigarette you Jerry Springer white trash whore and CHANGE LANES you fucking IDIOT!!!” and my mouth. It’s a good filter. I know this, because I don’t usually say these things out loud. And if I do let it fall out of my face, it’s not with anyone else in the car and the idiot driver on highway 12 in the early ’90’s model red ford taurus with the blonde hair and blue shirt sure as fuck can’t hear me.

HOWEVER

I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps a little more unfiltered spewage from the intelligent set might not do the dumbass set some freakin’ good. Lately, I have been inundated with not just dumbassery, but MEAN dumbassery. For no good reason, just mean spirited bitchy dumbassery. Some of it even borders on plain old fashioned stupidity, which just makes me want to slap that person. Hard. Repeatedly. With a blunt object. Now, I’m a yeller. Always have been. Just something cathartic about letting it all go in a loudly projected voice. Perhaps it’s the actress in me, or the third-child-screaming-to-be-heard-ness that’s still lingering around my edges, but I am a yeller. So when confronted with dumbassery that borders on stupidity presented to me on a bitchy silver platter, my poor tongue has a hard time remaining not only filtered and civil, but… INSIDE voice. Not such an issue say, inside a speeding car on the highway, but in pretty much every other situation? BIG HUGE GINORMOUS ISSUE.

So I’m tired. Tired of filtering, tired of keeping my volume down, tired of having the joy sucked out my life by the continual stream of assholes and idiots that seem to run so rampant around here. Tired of the shit The Husband is putting up with from every conceivable direction, tired of The Children who are too smart for their own good and exhaust me mentally as well as physically. Tired of not having everything I need to make me feel altogether whole, complete, and at home… so tequila and bad tv and sleep and off to another day of the same idiots in different shirts. Or different idiots in the same shirt… I do live in a small town with limited shopping…

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