an unnecessary excess of dumbassery (part 1)

… and yes, Sue on checkout aisle 27, I did still call your manager even though you changed your attitude once you saw me write down your name and aisle number.


Being rude to a customer by making snide remarks to OTHER customers ABOUT said customer is blatant dumbassery, not to mention the complete antithesis of “Customer Service” which, Sue on checkout aisle 27, is what you are paid to give. So do your fucking job, and do it with a smile. Or move on to telemarketing or credit collections so when you’re a bitch, it’ll be over the phone, and it might actually be appropriate to your position.


Here’s the thing – I worked retail for a very long time and I have a come to a point in my life where I have adopted a zero tolerance policy for shit customer service. If you happen to be my wait staff at an eating establishment, not only will your tip reflect your performance (including demeanor while at my table and whether or not you gossip with your coworkers on the work floor – hate that. Totally inappropriate.), but I will fill out any available comment card, and if I’m really peeved about the service, I WILL call the management or even (gasp) write and actual letter using an ink pen and paper made from a tree. Yes, it’s archaic, but it does tend to make a statement.

Silly woman, you mutter. (Yes, I can hear you out there – and you with the diet Coke – either quit belching or say excuse me. Good God! Manners, people!) You’re wasting your time… and killing trees! Death to the tree killer! First, settle down, it’s recycled paper.  And as for my time, I don’t feel like I’m wasting it. Because I don’t understand why it became okay to not do your best, to be your best, at whatever you do. Even if you don’t like it. It’s called work ethic. It’s called pride of workmanship. I don’t care if you’re flipping burgers or building fucking rockets. YOU DO YOUR BEST EVERY SINGLE TIME, and you ALWAYS TRY YOUR HARDEST to GET IT RIGHT.

So for you, Sue on checkout aisle 27, that means you don’t sneer to the customer ahead of me and say “I just hate those customers who pile up their groceries like that. I mean, I’ll get it done, just slow down lady”. You don’t then glance at me out of the corner of your eye, glare down at my groceries on your conveyer belt, purposely NOT push the button to move the belt forward to allow me another chunk of space to put the remainder of my items on the line, and then chuckle to yourself as you leisurely conclude your transaction with the customer ahead of me. Because, Sue on checkout aisle 27, I WILL take down your name and aisle number and I WILL call your supervisor, you store manager, and whomever else I need to in order to feel satisfied that my frustration as a paying customer has been taken seriously. And no, I will not include the fact that your attitude changed when you noticed that you’re behavior was being noted. That’s not personal work ethic, that’s fear of punishment, and that doesn’t count. And no, it doesn’t matter that once you realized my items were actually stacked for YOUR CONVENIENCE and to MAKE YOUR JOB EASIER your were actually rather friendly. None of that matters, Sue on checkout aisle 27, because you treated me with initial disdain and rudeness.

I have lived in The Other Dakota for almost 6 years – my tolerance for excessive dumbassery is reaching its limit.


thank for sending all the readers. I just wish that they’d keep coming back when I’m NOT on the top of the top 100 list… 

your’s truly.

the help



    1. you stopped, you read, you typed a bit… it would sound much cooler in Latin. I need to just pull up my socks and start being more of a comment whore on other people’s blogs… leaving a link, much like a conspicuous pair of panties under the bed, is good way to encourage people to search you out. (I’m glad I went with the panty analogy vs. the STD one. WAY less icky…)

      chin up, condron hits zoom my stats way up through the proverbial roof. And I pretend that everyone is reading my bits, not just my sister and three bored friends — and they rarely comment either!

  1. I’m commenting-really!! my silly computer stopped telling me of your new posts. Naughty computer!

    I am glad for your diligent policing of customer service. It does truly get depressing when so many people are out of work, and there is still no good help in those positions. The job sucks, really, but it’s a paycheck. And everyone should be expected to earn their paycheck, because, by all rights, there should be several people in line for just about anyone’s job right now.

  2. just one more reason that Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged should be mandatory reading for every person once in high school and then again in college. there should also be a lengthy essay involved to make sure that they UNDERSTAND the principles behind her theories.

    if those pharmaceutical companies could figure out how to add a concoction of moral fortitude to the world’s supply of bottled water, i would learn how to jig just so I could dance one out of happiness.

    and you, of all people, should know that the comment comment was not aimed at you. for god sakes, duck when you see those coming at you! lunatic…

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